Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Randomize
