do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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