Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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