im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
