I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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