I wish I could punch you in the face.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
You made out with two different species that night
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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