what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
