If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
