Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
