To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
