she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize