so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
i think my cat just said my name.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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