Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
