Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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