we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
