I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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