I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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