She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
