Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
