Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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