You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
