I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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