my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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