Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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