Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
