so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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