I need help removing her.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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