even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
