You can't motorboat a personality
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
