We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
