whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
