Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
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