can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
