which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
