Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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