So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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