Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
