She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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