She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
So much Jack, so little girl.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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