Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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