drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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