i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
