one word: firstdatebathroomanal
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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