I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
