im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I wish there were birth control emojis
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
