I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
