so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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