God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
