16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
They have beer where we have blood.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
