help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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