I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
