she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
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