Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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