Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
My pussy is not your playground.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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