They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Randomize
