I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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