PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
