i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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