What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
