I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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